Wednesday, 5 November 2014

Too much Positive?

Too much positive? What do you mean?

This has been a thought I have been turning over in my head the pass couple days. With this New Age movement of self-help, love and light, I can't help but feel that it has come with some, unintentional draw backs. For me personally, I am often scared to feel my "dark" emotion out of fear that I'll attract move of this feeling. I've even had people say this to me. "Don't be negative or that's all you're gonna get". This stems from the "You attract what you are", and the "Thoughts create your reality". Now, tell that some someone who suffers from mental health issues, we are left thinking "Oh, well, fuck". Now I know this "You attract what you are" isn't meant to come off that way, no-one is to be blamed for their mental health issues, but this love-and-light, positivity cure everything mentality is really fucking wearing sometimes. I understand that being positive about things it helpful, but sometime we really don't need it, it can make me feel worse, because I feel like I am failing somehow, because I am not being positive.
So even at time when I am fully justified to have these feelings, I find that I am at war with myself, and I have to keep on top of it because it will spiral out of control, and I will engage in an OCD mindset where I will create a domino effect of events in mind resulting in my worst fears being realised. Luckily this doesn't happen often, and for the most part I keep on top of my mental processes, but recently, with my spiritual crisis, I am struggling again.
I think shadow work get pushed to the side in terms of self-healing, and I can understand why, with the world we live in we expect cure-all and quick fixes on demand, so when it comes to something like shadow work that it messy and scary, most people will probably opt for some yoga or drumming. We still live in fear of the darkness, and we sill believe that this is where evil lurks, but evil walks with the face of man and it's plans are much more sublet then fire and brimstone.

I'm not really sure where I am going with this post, I'm not a talker, a sharer of my feelings, and doing this like this is uncomfortable, because I feel like I am rambling and wasting everyone's time. I have always been the listener, but sometimes even the listener needs someone who will listen to them. Mebbe this is therapy for me, who knows, I'm lead to believe that "getting it out" is a good thing. Can't keep everything to myself now can I?

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