Wednesday, 2 October 2013

I'm not Buddha and I don't ever want to be

I feel like I've been getting wrapped up in spiritual idea of who I should be. Everyday I read all these quote & comments about "enlightenment" how one should be, and act and say etc to be a "spiritually enlightenment person". But instead of inspiring me, I have developed a complex over how I should be in order to be "spiritual enlightened". I've been feeling like I'm a bad spiritual person because I have not done, x, y & z. I've been creating faults in things that how none, questioning from a place of ego fearing (if that's even a term), 

So I stopped and asked "Who am I"? and those silence answered. It stripped away all I thought I was & thought I should be and left only with what I am. Then I remembered my path, Druidry...why am I on this path? Why I am a Druidess? My path came to me from my patron goddess Cerridwen, she came to me on that night and gave me those gifts and I have been changed ever since. 
When I came into my spirituality about 4 year ago, never wanted to be "enlightened" I just wanted to be happy, with life & who I am. I've realized that I've lost sight of that with this obsession with being this perfectly spiritual person. I know most of you think straight away of a Buddhist monk or an Indian Guru when you see the word "enlighten" and I think with the way we've been conditioned by society & such, that everyone must fight this mold in order to be that kind of person. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing it really is, most of what you see out there is only the tip of the iceberg, if you're not willing to to the leg work in finding & creating your own spiritual life, you'll fall into the trap into thinking you must, walk, talk, think & act in a certain way to be a "spiritual person".
So back to my previous question, why am I Druidess? Well, upon that discovery it was one of the most wonderful days of my life, every time I read about Druidry my heart swells with a feeling I can't lay my finger on, next to my love of my partner & family, Nature is second in my heart, I have always been in awe of her, and herbalism is something that I love researching & hopefully one day practice  Druidry moves me & heals me, it inspires me,and empowers me. 
I've been punishing myself for not fitting this false mold I have created, I am not a guru or a monk and frankly I don't want to be. I am a short purple haired girl from England, who drinks way too much tea, who dreams of marrying her man and live in a hobbit hole with 2 pugs, become a mother and housewife, and do spiritual healing & charms when needed. I'm not going to lead the revolution, I'm going to lead my family to be eco-friendly, to eat healthier.I'm teach my children to love the earth just as much as I do, and show them the magick that lays there..

That is my dream, that is all I want and if that make me "wrong" in a spiritual sense, then frankly I don't give a damn, I want to be happy, not the Buddha

Wednesday, 11 September 2013

My relationship to the Crone

Out of the 3 aspects of the triple goddess I have always been drawn to the Crone. I hold great respect to each of her aspects, but nothing hold me with such fascination, inspiration & magick like the Crone. She has been with me through out my whole life. 
  I remember having a conversation with my mum some time ago about how I acted growing up. As an infant I was quiet & observant (something never change heehee) I was always watching. I was a bright child for my age, I could already write my name, count to 10 & knew the alphabet before I started even school. 
 To begin with I was a very confident child, always wanting to express myself, but alas this was not taken well by my teacher & I was often pushed to the back of the class, and slowly the confidence faded away as I grew older. My mum went on to tell me about one of my old school reports & this sentence has stuck with me ever since "Emma does not relate well to her peers", my mum told me about how I would seek out adults to talk to, rather then play with kids my age. Adults gave me the intellectual stimuli that I wanted. I'm still very much the same today, I seek out wisdom and love learning, and the Crone is the very embodiment of wisdom. 

  If you have read my previous blogs then you'll know that my patron goddess is Cerridwen, a Celtic/Welsh Crone goddess, she was present when I first came into my spirituality, she was one of the first goddesses I researched, and she is also the only goddess who has visited me. She was the one whom put me on my path & continues to guide me to this day. I affectionately called her "Grandmother", I not really sure why or when I started to call her that but I do, I never knew my grandmothers they both passed before I was born, and it has left a kind void in my life, and I think this is another reason I am drawn to the Crone, for I have longed for that Grandmother to Granddaughter relationship. 

One of the gift of Cerridwen was a spiral, the symbol of the Wisewoman tradition. This is the healing tradition of our foremother. This is the description by the founder Susun Weed:
The Wisewoman tradition is a spiral
The symbol of the Wise Woman tradition is a spiral.

A spiral is a cycle as it moves through time.A spiral is movement around and beyond a circle, always returning to itself, but never at exactly the same place. Spirals never repeat themselves.
The symbol of the Wise Woman tradition is the spiral.The spiral is the bubbling cauldron.The spiral is the curl of the wave.The spiral is the lift of the wind.The spiral is the whirlpool of water.The spiral is the umbilical cord.The spiral is the great serpent.The spiral is the path of the earth.The spiral is the twist of the helix.The spiral is the spin of our galaxy. The spiral is the soft guts.The spiral is the labyrinth.The spiral is the womb-moon-tide mobius pull.The spiral is your individual life.The spiral is the passage between worlds: birth passing into death passing into birth.The path of enlightenment is the spiral dance of bliss.
The symbol of the Wise Woman Tradition is a spiral.Twelve is the number of established order.One step beyond is thirteen, the wild card, the indivisible prime, the number of change.Walk a spiral, you will inevitably come to the unique next step, the unknown, the thirteenth step, the opportunity for change, the window of transformation.The thirteenth step creates the spiral

 Another pattern I have notice this that I have alot of "Crone" things in my spiritual life. my power animal is a Raven named Eir (I adore her), raven of course being a animal of the Otherworld which is the Crone's domain, my spirit & guardian tree is Elder, the wise old hedgerow shrub that scattered across England, she is wonderful companion if you put the effort in to forming a relationship with her. Another thing is that I feel more at peace yet powerful when the moon is a waning crescent & dark, and I prefer the darker part of the year; Mabon, Samhuinn & the Alban Arthuan (Winter Solstice) being my favourite Sabbats. 
   I've always like dark things; old bones & skulls fascinate me (animals & people), most people would just see icky dry bones, but me I see a story left over from a time gone by & a memory of a person. I love archaeology & history, folklore and legends. Museums & libraries are second best place nexts to being out in Nature for me.

So yes, the Crone is a very important figure in my life & she always will be, she give me this overwhelming feeling that I cannot put into words, so I will depart leaving these words written by Rae Beth from her book Hedgewitch (it's on the wishlist heehee):

I call upon the Crone, Old Wisewoman, she who brings true vision.
She is wise in the ways of all creatures and knows roots, herbs, 
all healing, whatever may be needed. She sees patterns
and dreams in the glowing logs, in steam that rise from the Cauldron,
and in quiet waters. She can foretell, forewarn and guide.
In her, we see and understand, we bring the story to
it's rightful end, and we gain wisdom

Green Blessings /|\


Monday, 19 August 2013

Busy Little Dreamer

It been awhile since I last wrote a blog, over 2 months in face, but hey I only write them when I feel inspired. In these last few months I've been doing alot on inner work, rituals, journeying, healing work, exploring, making my inner sacred space my base of operations. I've met more animal spirit guides (I have 7 now) & even saw my patron goddess Ceridwen again. But first I'm doing to pick up from my last journey I shared with you, the one where I was in La Loba's cave.

  On the last full moon (July) I did a small (internal) ritual to the Faeries & Ceridwen asking for help with manifesting something, the fae had been around me alot that week as I thought to ask them for assistance & Ceridwen is a goddess of manifestation. After all was down & I had given my thanks, I found myself in the sacred pool that in the forest behind my sacred cabin, then the scene jumped & I was in the ocean, then in La Loba's cave. All my animal guides were with the addition of a white snake (I think she is my Kundalini). I dressed in my black shaman robe & wearing my spirit blanket, I had my bag & a simple folk staff. It was a clear night & the moon was full. So off we set into the desert, the white snake was drape over my shoulder, her head perched atop mine, I was carrying Luis (red panda), Eir (she-raven) flew over head, Isis (black she-wolf) was on my right, Airmid (white she-wolf) on my left, both slightly ahead of my & Selenus (brown she-bear) was behind me. I had the impression that I was searching for bones, La Loba is a bone collector. After we walked a good while we came across a set of deer bones, I knelt beside them letting my face hover over them & I began to chant, I chanted to call forth Awen, and as I chanted the bones began to come to life, flesh covering bone until a mighty red stag stood before me. I stood up & stroked his muzzle asking his name to which he replied "Rohan", he bowed his head & rested his forehead to mine.

  That is the story of Rohan, another of my guides. But the newest addition to my animal guides is a she-lynx named Erma. Erma strolled & I mean stroll into my life a couple nights ago. I had been seeing lynxs all week, & it isn't the first time,  didn't think too much over it, I just took it as a sign from Great Spirit to look into her medicine & heed the lessons she brings, the last thing I expected walk for a lynx to stroll into my sacred cabin. See the thing about lynx is you cannot chose to work with her, she chooses you. So you can imagine my surprise at her arrival. She walked in through the open door & sat herself right in front of me. She looked at me & I at her & from time to time it was as if our spirit switched bodies & I was looking at myself through her eye & I could see her spirit looking back at me from my own body. It was an odd experience. When we were back in our own body I felt the urge to give her a gift, I pulled from my belt pouch a rutilated quartz on a leather thong which I hung around her neck. The scene skipped & I found myself crossing the river to the Shamanic Dreamworld. When I reached the other side Eir was on my shoulder & Erma was sat by my side, before stood a majestic oak forest. We entered & found ourselves in a grove with a stone circle with an altar. Upon the altar I gave an offering connected to me, a place a raven's feather, my spirit stone moss agate & a lit my healing smudge which is made from pine, cedar & rosemary, and lastly I left my personal seal in blood. I did a kind of dedication to myself, reaffirming my path & who I am, I said things that came from my heart & spirit, strong, assuring things. When I was finished Ceridwen appeared, I was beaming, I told her how happy I was to see her & how thankful I was for the gifts she had given me when first we met. She smiled her warm smile & placed her thumb over my third eye, I knelt before her & closed my eyes, accepting whatever gift she was giving me. When I opened my eyes I was sat on the floor of my cabin looking back at Erma.

In my inner landscape I have discovered 2 forest groves, one of pine & one of rowan. The pine forest is a place I go to contemplate, it is always midnight there & the floor is littered with fly agaric mushrooms. The rowan grove is a place of healing, I go there to recharge & be nurtured. It is either sunrise or sunset (something I have noted in my inner sacred place, it is always a betwixt time), the tree have coppery & golden leaves, autumn tones & dripping with red berries. In the centre of these place is a tree stump where I sit.

  The night before I met Erma, I was sat in my pine forest, thinking about Wild Woman & my own wildness. Eir was on my left shoulder & Luis on my right. Isis, the black she-wolf approached me. Isis came into myself when I asked to become connected to my Wild Mother, she is the wildness in every woman, she is own inner voice of intuition, and when I asked this Isis the black she-wolf appeared & she told me that she was my connecting to her. I rested my forehead to her's and asked her to help me embrace my wildish nature. Isis stepped back & looked towards the forest as if to say "run with me". My green robe became became primitive skins, a halter top & skirt, much more suited for running, and off we ran. My heart began to quicken & a feeling overtook, a pure simple joy that comes from simply running, a feeling I remember from once years ago, when I was running up & down a hallway just to see have fast I could go before turning & running back up the hall again. Eir & Luis followed in the branches above & I could see Airmid & Isis running up ahead of me. We ran until we came to the end of the pine forest, the sun was setting, the skies decorated with pinks & oranges. The end off the pine forest lead down a slope towards the river that was the gateway to the Shamanic Dreamworld. Then I noticed something, my body was covered in green energy, coiling & snaking around my legs, arms, body & head. When I looked closer the energy coils looks like ivy & I could intuitive feel that they were channels. The ivy then printed on my skin like pale brown scars or faded henna but I could still feel them. I knelt and touched the earth & I could feel the energy being drawn in through my fingertips. When I rose to my feet I saw a Druid's Temple on a hill opposite the pine forest, my spirit animals gathered around me & I knew that had to go there. I was now in my green robe & holding my staff. The Temple itself was a mix of Stonehenge & The Druid's Temple in Ilton, Somerset. It consisted of 13 stones. There was an altar stone where I left an offering, raven's feather, one of my healing smudge sticks, herbs of elder-flower, mugwort, juniper, lavender, and a halved apple & blossom. Also I buried a silver coin at the base of the altar stone. I knelt on the earth and gave my thanks, to all the goddess I called upon (Ceridwen, Branwen, Artemis, Corventia, Airmid, Nemetona & Gaea) I thanked them individually, I thanked them for their gifts both personal one & those given to mankind. I asked them for some personal things I won't mention here, but they are thing to help me help others, not just people, animal, plant & mineral too.

  So there you have it, my eventful 2 months since my last blog, I have also done some healing work & come up with an entire ritual which I hope to one day do in the outer world.

Green Blessings /|\

Raven Dreamer

Tuesday, 11 June 2013

Journey Inward: Exploring the Inner Landscape

Those who know me, will know that I'm currently in a spiritual "funk", and I'm been trying my best to get by.
I decided that I should do some internal work.

Recently, Artemis has come into my life as my 3rd goddess, now making the Trinity (Maiden: Artemis, Mother: Branwen, & Crone: Ceridwen) I decided to do an internal ritual to her, to honour her and ask for her help with this "funk" (I believe it now to be a 'Dark Night of the Soul' experience) An internal ritual you may ask? Yes, it is much the same as a ritual you would perform in the outer world, but it is all internal, it requires the same amount of prep and focus as a normal ritual, probably more so because it's all going on inside you, it was one of the first things I read about when I start on my spiritual path (I believe the book was called Solitary Wicca for Life) All of my inner work start at my sacred centre, if you're read my previous blog you'll remember that it is a cabin in the woods by a stream. I won't tell you the ritual because it is private, but after it was over, I decided to follow the stream to see where it might lead. I followed it deep into the woods accompanied by my spirit animals; Raven, Airmid the white wolf, Isis the black wolf & my nearest companion Selenus the brown mother bear. The stream became a small waterfall which fell into a sacred pool, I instantly recognized the pool from other internal work I've done, it's a place I go to for renewal & healing.

Feeling good about my experience I decided I would explore some more, the next night. So I played my music & went inward. First I cleaned & cleansed the cabin, dusting, sweeping & smudging with pine (pine has been a strong presence in my life lately & I connect him to Raven). I left offerings to my goddess statues, and added some more things to my cabin to make it more 'me'. When I was satisfied I went outside where everyone was waiting & we set off following the stream to the sacred pool. My intention was to see if there was others rivers or streams running from the pool. Shortly we arrived at the pool and sure enough I spotted another waterfall & stream running in the other direction, we climbed carefully down the bank & with the help of Selenus I climbed up the other back to the top of the small waterfall, and when Selenus had climbed up we followed the new stream to see where it might lead. Time passed & I saw the trees being to part and we found ourselves at the ocean, another place I had been before. It was night & the moon a waxing crescent, the breeze blew making my robe ripple, I could feel it on my face and taste the salty air. While I was drinking in the view, Airmid, Isis & Selenus were all playing in the waves, I stood with my feet in the water watching them play with Raven perched on my shoulder.
Then I saw a fin in the water and a great white shark emerged from the wave (Great White has been a totem of mine for a number of year, he come in & out of my life) He looked at me as if to say "Come we me I have something to show you". Know that this was my inner world & nothing can harm me, I trusted Great White, despite my great fear of the deep water (I'm not a confident swimmer & any water that comes to my neck terrifies me), I removed my robe & waded into the water beside Great White, I took hold of his fin and we dove, my spirit animals, even Raven following suit. Down and down we swan, I could not see a thing only darkness & I felt like I was holding my breath for ages, then we emerged in an underground cave. The cave was surprisingly light & upon the small patch of land sat a woman with long Rapunzel like hair the colour of seaweed. She gave me a friendly warm smile & beckons me closer, I stepped forward and the green-haired woman produced a large pearl, about the size of a tennis ball & she held it out to my on out-stretched palms, feeling that it was a gift I cups my hands to receive the pearl, but before I could grasp it, the green-haired woman by-passed my hands and places the pearl into my heart chakra. Surprised, I instantly feel a warmth in my heart which sweeps down my arms to my hands & back again. The scene shifts, I open my eyes and find myself back on the beach. I released that the music had changed & was now playing Damh the Bard, I did not know what the song was at the time but in the lyrics I heard "She takes me to a distant cave", this made me remember that there was in fact a cave further along the beach, so I began to walk in the direction of the cave. The cave is in the side of a cliff that over looks the ocean, it a small cave, I sat there in front of a fire with an old native American (the details of the encounter escape me, sadly). I peer inside the cave but see nothing of interest, but something pushes me to look more and sure enough I glance at the floor to see a stone staircase leading down, and so I descend. As the stair go deeper, it become darker, I place my hands on the walls for support. Finally I reach the end of the stair case, but I hesitate, I feel that there is no floor, I pause and something make me step forwards and I fall into darkness, but in my faith my wings (raven wings of course) emerge, letting my glide safely to the floor. I am still surround by darkness, but I'm not along, a hunch figure shuffles forward. Her white/grey hair disheveled and she is completely naked, beside her is a grey wolf. She is La Loba, the Wolf Woman, The Keeper of Bones. My encounter was brief because my music change to something that disrupted & I was pulled out prematurely, the last thing I remember is standing in the entrance of La Loba's cave and looking out over the desert...

Green Blessings /|\

Raven Dreamer

Thursday, 23 May 2013

Spirit Journey: Finally Meeting Raven

Oh boy, has it been mad, I think I had another 'Dark night if the Soul' this past week. I pretty much isolated myself from everyone I could. I had no interest in anything in the outside world, nothing & that is what I felt, nothing, it was as if I was on auto-pilot this whole week. I felt so disconnected, all I wanted to do was be alone. I had a feeling I knew what I had to do, I had to go inwards, to the Underworld, I needed to recharge & renewal and refocus, the problem was I had no idea HOW and it was so frustrating that it bought me to tears in my desperation. So, not knowing what to do, I carried on drifting, thinking all I could do was ride it out. Spirit energy of Ivy has been with me the whole time, ivy is the labyrinth and that is where I was, I could see no way forwards or backwards or sideways The only direction I had was the animal medicine cards, I kept each the same two card for about 5 days straight 1 card one day then the other card the next day. The cards were Ant: Patience & Snake: Transmutation, I read this as "Be patience, you're transmuting". Sometimes I got Blue Heron: Reflection or Lizard: Dreaming. They were the guides that help give me some focus in the fog that surrounded me as I kept repeating what was now some kind of mantra "Be patience, you're transmuting". Then the other night I had a vivid dream, I had a small brown snake wrapped around my right wrist, it was friendly & playful, then suddenly it changed into a black snake and become aggressive, trying to bite me, I shook it off my wrist because I sensed it was poisonous. Later I came across a picture of a black mamba & it was the same snake in my dream, so I look it up. (I'd drawn Lizard: Dreaming that day so I knew I had to pay extra attention to my dreams)

Art & words by Ravenari

Looking into the abyss, being feared, the emotion of fear, terror, leave me alone, using fear to keep others away, threatening because you feel threatened, notoriety, death incarnate, prepare to strike, a willingness to do anything to protect yourself and loved ones no matter what the consequences, anxiety, wrestling with your fears, aggression, fighting back, wanting different perspectives on a situation, having hidden sides to your personality, protecting yourself. 

My thoughts were "Yep, that how I've been feeling alright" but it didn't stop there because I was being stalked by other animal energies, Lynx, Cougar & Snow Leopard. I know when Spirit is trying to get me to see something, it'll send me a bombardment of visual images & pictures, and that is what I got. I've been hiding on Tumblr for the past week & on my dashboard I had a mass of pictures of these 3 great cats, so once again I went to the same website  and looked them up too
Art  & words by Ravenari

Seer of the Unseen. Solitude. Reservation. Vigilance. The Hermit. Understanding Spiritual Mystery. Sphinx Energy. Invisibility. Knowledge vs. Superstition. Play. Perception and Protection on All Levels. Seduction and Eye Contact. Manipulation of Time & Space in Otherworlds.

Art & words by Ravenari
Cougar: Many Names
Going by many names, the significance and insignificance of a name, power and grace, preferring to stay private, being secretive by nature, hiding your projects and things that are important to you, not being boastful, competing with other big personalities for career, a connection to sky deities, the ability to snag large opportunities quite easily, being capable of great physical power, athletics and fitness, looking after yourself, a connection to many different sacred environments, possibly being drawn to more than one spiritual system.

Art & words by Ravenari

Snow Leopard: Snow & Mountain Wisdom
Cautiousness, snow and mountain wisdom, looking down on others, a sense of superiority to others, beware of elitism and judging others silently, reclusiveness, wariness, the power of holding your tongue, being able to reach great heights of personal achievement over your lifetime, constantly searching for inner and outer balance.

I sat & thought for awhile, "What do these animals have in common?" They're all solitary by natures, and what does one do in solitude? Internal work, something I've been wanting (needing) to do, but still the question of how plagued me. I was then drawn to read one of my e-book, so I logged in & browsed the titles & straight away "Stories from Spirit" by Sheila Callaham by  jumped out at me (Indigo night sky cover with a purple wolf baying at the full moon, how could I not!) I had no idea what the book was even about, and I have only downloaded purely based off the cover. The book is all about spirit journeying, something I'd been eager to learn for a awhile now. The first half of the books, Sheila shares some of her own journeys, and then she walks you through your own (there are links in the e-book that take you to guided meditation by her. The first journey you make is to the Lower Spirit World, it is similar to the Middle World (the one in which we live) but it is an all natural environment; forests, fields, mountains etc. and in the Lower World you meet your Power Animal. After you have followed the necessary steps to prepare yourself for spirit journeying, she instructs you to visual yourself in a natural place (In the Middle World & already my 3rd Eye was humming), I saw myself in forest divided by a river to my right there was misty mountains & to the left hills. Then she instruct to image a portal to the Lower world; it can be anything, a pool, a hallow tree, deep forest. Across the river I saw an old hallowed willow tree & I thought that was my portal. 

Shelia then begin to count from 1 to 10 while drumming and this is how one enters the Lower World, but my portal was on the other side of the river, so when the drumming started I saw stepping stones across the river & with each drumbeat I hopped to the next stone until 10 I was one the opposite bank and immediately I knew I was someplace else, it's turned out that my portal was in fact the stepping stones across the river. The colours here were much brighter & the forest on this side much lusher. Then Sheila says about meeting your Power Animal, I already knew what my power animal was, Raven (I felt him sit on my left shoulder before I entered the Lower World). So I waited for his arrival and sure enough there he was, he flew in over head which is flap of his wings he change from black to white and back again, the very sight of him bought tears to my eyes, I was awe stuck at his majesty & beauty, and trailing behind him was the Sun. With that sight my spirited lifted & my heart swelled, Raven had bought light back into my life, because Raven is the Light Bringer. Then Sheila says she'll drum for 3 mins while you get to know your Power Animal, and when she fell silence Raven began to twist & turn in the air as if he was dancing, and he wanted me to join him. My green druidess robe changed to black & my arms were not adorned with black raven feather making wings, and we danced. We span & twirled in the light of the sunshine, hopping & spinning with glee. Then Shelia spoke & it was time to leave, the feathers on my arms fell away & my robe became green once more, Raven landed on my left arm, I hugged him goodbye and thanked him for everything. Then back across the river I hopped, back to the Middle World & then back into my body & the present moment. I was so surprised by what I had just done, I'd always thought that journey would be complex & harder, but this was a breeze, I had no trouble finding my portal & any reservation about entering the Lower World & the journey was only 10 mins! I was blown away, and so very happy to finally meet Raven, I've always felt his presences & caught glimpses of him in some of my visions. He bought the Sun back, this animal of the darkness & the Void bought me the light.

Green Blessings /|\

Raven Dreamer

Wednesday, 8 May 2013

Spiraling into the Centre: Returning to the Beginning

It's been a bit of a bumpy time for me recently, I had one of those experience where the mat pulled out from under your feet, and I've been trying to find my balance every since. Old issues & old pain began to surface, things that have not bothered me in years, so on the Full (Pink) Moon in Scorpio I decided to so a ritual to release, cleanse & heal these old wounds & past pain. The ritual went very well & I felt better for it. When Beltane came I focused on self-love & reaffirmed my intention to heal. Despite this, my mood & energy have been up and down, it got to the point where I could not bare to be around anyone, not even my family, everything felt so overwhelming & everything was too loud that it made me want to breakdown and cry. The next day when I felt alittle better I decided to do something about it, clearly something was not right. So began reading a couple of e-book I had on self-healing & creating better flow in your life, I took notes and did some of the exercises to call back & protect my energy. I've been doing a daily card reading from David Carson - Medicine Card, this has been helping gain insight in themes & energies to be aware of. Couple days ago I thought I go to another site to get alittle more insight, it is a online Tarot site called Students of Tarot, you can choose from a range of decks & spreads, I decided to a single card reading from two different decks The Greenwood & The Crone, I chose you use only the major arcane, I got the same card from both decks, The Wheel & then, because the Universe like to show me things in threes, a card from the Heart of the Faeries Oracle appear, a card I have ran into a couple of times, the card is called The Returning

Then something dawned on me, the way I had been feeling & thinking was the same way I was back at the beginning of my journey into my spiritualism, fearful of the future, self-critical, low self-esteem & negativity thinking plaguing my mind, and these three cards all hold the same message, go back to your roots, go back to the beginning. "Endings have new beginnings and we cycle on like a great wheel". That is what is written (by my lovely soul-sistar Dawn) about The Returning. When I took a step back and look at what I was doing, it was the same thing I had start way back when I started, changing my negativity & critical thinking, balancing my energies & chakras, affirmation, positive intentions, living in the present moment, it was all there, everything that I had work on when I began my spiritual journey. So The Returning got me thinking, what was it that sparked my passion for my spiritual path? The theme had been appearing in some of my exercises too; What is your passion? What is it that makes you happy? Nothing came to mind so I took a break & decided to look at some Youtube videos, 2 videos caught my attention, they were both about a wonderful herbalist called Cascade Anderson Geller who sadly passed last weekend.One of the videos was Cascade talking about dandelions, as I watched something in me was rekindled & I began feverishly taking notes on dandelion medicine. To began looking up more dandelion medicine videos and I began making plans for harvesting & preparing herbal remedies, I came across a wise old face, the wonderful Susun Weed, the woman whom made me full in love with herbal medicine, and then it hit me, my passion, the thing that had driven me forward was my love of herbs.
Susun Weed

Cascade Anderson Geller

And thus I had come full circle & the lesson of the Wheel was released, return to the beginning & remember why I began this journey.

Green Blessings /|\


Sunday, 28 April 2013

Rediscovering the Raven, Branwen's return

Wow-wee today been a killer for me, I woke up very stressed out after having one of my tidal wave dreams, so stressed  that I awoke with a tension headache, emotionally it's been a rough month for me and me I'm the kind of person whom bottles it all up because I don't want to worry those I care for, even me mentioning it here is a great effort for me. Anywho the stress got so bad that I was shaking, eventually my partner came home from work & I broke down and told him about the dream and what I was feeling, and he set me straight (like he always does, love my Ryan sooooo much) and I calmed down.

So I went to my facebook page I run to do my daily update & answer any questions or messages from members, well one member had asked about how they're go about finding there (Native American) Birth totem, so off I went on my google search & came across a page I felt had sufficient info. After I had passed on the links I decided to look at my own birth totem which is
Raven/Crow, I was looking down the list of correspondences when the stone mentioned caught my attention, the stone being Azurite, so off to google I go again searching for pictures of the fore mentioned stone & what I found took me by surprise, the stone caused my soul to reach out, I felt a stir within me that said "I need this", this is not an ego desire, but a soul desire. I was taken aback even more when I saw the bead *gasp* oh my gods the beads, the beads look like little mother earths.
I was stunned, so I decided to look into the metaphysical & healing properties, again I was blown away, the properties were for things I need help with, balancing certain chakra, aid in intuition, psychic work, Divine connecting, the list goes on. So I started looking at jewellery, do decide the best place to wear it, as I looked  
this ring caught my attention, it was the feather that had really caught my eye so I went to look at the information regarding the ring, the remind was made to honour the goddess Branwen, curious I decided to look into Branwen and went to my favourite goddess info page Order White Moon, I found her section and began to read and once again I was blown away with what I found, Branwen is the goddess of empathy, healing love & prophecy. This is what hit home for me...
Branwen’s great heart filled with love, associates Her strongly with the Heart Chakra.  In my own work I have found Branwen to be steady and gentle in Her assistance to help us open in love.  When opening to Branwen’s love, we are healed by Its vast power.  Love has the power to heal and Branwen is quite gentle in taking our emotional wounds and wiping our tears away.

More subtly, it is through Branwen’s great love that we see Her empathy.  So many today, myself included, struggle at times wondering at the purpose of empaths.  Overwhelmed, we grow angry at our gift and call it a curse.  It is at these times that the Great Empath Branwen is crying with us.  She feels our pain as Her own.  Filled with compassion, She feels sorrow at our sadness.  It is here that Her love greatly heals and teaches us.  A purpose of empathy is to grow in love.  When we experience the energy of emotions and allow our hearts to open, we can flow through the sorrows around us without being overwhelmed.  And yet Branwen does not ask us to open to the maelstrom of the world around us either.  She beseeches us to respect our limitations and use our empathic gift of love wisely.  Branwen can teach us how to set boundaries healthfully while allowing our love to be expressed freely, shielding us from taking on too much.  Master of the intricate layers we each have, She is ever willing to gently help arrange them optimally so that each time we grow a little closer to seeing empathy as a healer’s gift and not the curse of the weak society portrays it as."
Artwork by Emily Brunner

I myself am an empath and healer (I'm still discovering what form). My heart chakra is my most powerful chakra (along with my 3rd eye), my heart energy centre, it is where my strength comes from. I struggle with my gift, not as much as I used too but I slip up every now & then, today being one of those day, so Branwen is a gods send, but what made me smile is the fact that this isn't the first time she's come to me, right in the very beginning when I had first come into my spiritualism, she (as well as Ceridwen) were one of the first gods that made themselves known to me, and then (like Ceridwen) I forgot about her until today and I am overwhelmed by her return, it like being reunited with a long lost relative. And here's the icying on the cake her name means 'Blessed (or white) Raven'.

Green Blessings /|\


Tuesday, 23 April 2013

My Plant Spirit Primrose

Currently I am reading through a book called 'Plant Spirit Medicine' by Eliot Cowan, it is a wonderful book & as soon as I started reading it I knew this would be something I want to adopt into my Ovate studies. In his book Cowan talk about contacting the spirits of plant, just like you would the spirit of animal or person and you use that plant's medicine to heal. About a week ago I was looking up some more info' online about the subject when I came across this article about plant totem, I've seen it before but I didn't bothering reading it, well I was bothered this time! Near the end of the article it asks you a series of questions to help you figure out what you're totem plant, just like if you were figuring out an animal totem. The whole time I was reading one word kept on repeating in my head "primrose" over & over. I sat & thought about it for awhile, turning the possibility over in my mind. I thought back to a section in Plant Spirit Medicine where it say about decide which plant you'd like to visit in the Shaman Dreamworld, primrose was the first to come to mind. Prior to my shock that I had a couple week back I had been very drawn to primrose, I even had the plant oracle card on my altar a mere days before the shock had happened & it's stay with me through the day when everything was up in the air.
Primrose is also connected to Grandmother Cerridwen who is my patron goddess & is one of the herbs mentioned in my favourite meditation 'Clothed with Flowers'. But still I had my doubts, so last night after all my thanks to the gods I spoke to the spirit of primrose, I asked her that if you are truly my plant totem please give me a sign, a sign that I will know for sure that it is from you telling me that you are my plant totem. So today I step outside for my daily walk & for some reason I look over into my neighbor's front garden, and lo and before there was a bunches of creamy yellow primroses, I smiled to myself and said okay primrose I'm convinced, you are my plant spirit

Saturday, 2 March 2013

Those that Dwell Within Me: The Chakra Beasts

In a previous post I mentioned Airmed, the chakra beast that dwells in my heart chakra & as promised I said I would explain what these 'chakra beasts are'

Some times in the beginning of last years I read a book called Active Dreaming: Journeying Beyond Self-Limitation to a Life of Wild Freedom. Now this book wasn't what I thought it would be, at that time I was (and still am) on a quest to be able to understand & interpret my dreams. Anyway, there was an exercise in this this about exploring your chakras to see what lives there. This caught my interested & decided to try it, now I'm not great at meditation, I need music or one that guided to help me focus, I came across a quote that describes my mind (and my dreams) very adeptly "my thoughts are like stars I can't fathom into constellations".
I decided to take it slow so I looked up some music to help aid my meditation & found this. So while listening to this, each chakra has it's own music which lasts roughly 2 mins, and on each chakra I focused on it's corresponding colour. I did this for about a week, then I moved on to "looking" what was there, you have to approach this with a completely open mind or otherwise your ego will interfere & 'place' things there which aren't really meant to be there which defeats the whole purpose. So I cleared my mind & begin the meditation, I focused on the chakra colour like I always did also I held the intention to "see" what was there. The book says that everything can be there, an apple, a lush forest, an animal, anything. When I first did this I only saw the faces of each animal from each chakra, a stag in my root, a tigress in my sacrel, a blue phoenix in my solar plexus, a white wolf in my heart, a snowy owl in my throat, a raven in my third eye & a white spider in my crown. Over the coming months, once a week, I did this meditation with the intention of getting to know each of these animals, these chakra beats as I later dubbed them & build a relationship with them. Slowly bit by bit I saw more & more of there bodies, eventually learning each of their names & their plain which that lived. Each animal has it's own energy & personality, they each reflect parts on me. Now I will go into detail about each animal starting with the root chakra...

Sol, The Druid Stag

Sol is a huge & magnificent red stag, his antlers are vast & looks like branches of a tree, with vines & oak leaves hanging from them. He has a triquetra (or trinity knot) on his third eye. His fur has spirals that inter-connect. When you are in Sol's presents it is like being with a druid from ancient times, he oozes wisdom, calms, all the traits of the archetype Druid. He lived in the heart of a lush, dense forest, the sun shafts through the gaps in the canopy of the wood. My Kundalini lives here too, she's a long white elegant snake, that loved to wrap herself around me & rest her head on my shoulder or crown.

Aoi, The Colour Changing Tigress

Aoi is a beautiful tigress with pale blue eyes, when we first met she was white, then on another visit she was golden & then on another visit she was orange. At first things were very awkward between us, she felt like a stranger to me yet had something familiar about her, but over time out relationship grew & now she feels like a sister too me and is now always orange. When I am around Aoi I am very much aware of my inner tigress, I feel sleek & feminine and am reminded that I am very much a woman. Aoi lives in an Indian style room, everything is orange & copper, there is a long curvy couch covered with tons of scatter cushions, the table in front of the couch has a vase of calendula flowers  & sandalwood incense is burning. Behind the couch is a large round pool with lotus in it, Aoi loves to bathe in it. On the wall in front of the couch is a arch doorway which is covered with midnight blue curtains, what behind these curtains? I do not know, I haven't yet been able to pass through or even look, but my guess is that I'm not ready yet. to the right of the couch is a high round hole which used to be a window. On one of my visits Aoi had giving me a golden ankh shaped scepter & with it I smashed this window, the glass became water droplet & disappeared. What it revealed was a lovely path of green grass lined with marigolds, the path seems to go on forever.

Fyral, The Blue Phoenix

Fyral is a towering blue phoenix, the tips of his wings, plumes & feather are blue fire but feel like running water to the touch. Poor Fyral is not very sure of himself & needs alot of love and encouragement, I have yet to see him fly. When I first saw Fyrals home, it was the ruins of a temple (Greek I believe), with a fire pit near the back wall, at this time the fire was very small. After a few visits I decided that I would repair the temple, so with Fyrals help, we fed this little fire until it became the size of a bonfire. Now with this fire & my will I began to rebuild, I fixed the columns, the stones steps, and the floor. I made the roof glass to you can see the Sun, the strange thing is that you can see Father Sun through the roof but when you look out from the temple it is always night with a waning crescent moon & thousands of stars. The stones steps lead down to a gravel path lined with two fields of sunflowers.

Airmid, Wolf of my Heart

Airmid is a beautiful white wolf with amber eyes, she's always happy too see me. Her fur is so soft & comforting. She lives in a vast & lush field of white flowers that resides next to Sol's forest. We chase each other through the flowers, roll around & cuddle, and then we go the spot where where is a blanket & picnic basket where we sit & have lavender tea. I feel closest to Airmid, I feel that she's always by my side (she accompany me in other meditation or inner soul journeying) She (along with Grandmother Cerridwen) is the first I turn to for comfort in my time of despair, just one hug from her & all the pain & sadness is gone.

Archimedes, The Shy Owl

I took me a long time to learn Archimedes name, his was the last name I learnt in fact. When we first met he was incredibly shy, hiding his face & dare not look at me, but over time he warms up to me, with a little help from his favourite snack, wild berries. Archimedes is a lovely snowy owl, a little smaller then average. I lives in a high tower with pinks roses trailing up the front to the window in which he sits. The tower has a hedgerow made up of berry bushes (blueberry, raspberry, blackberry etc). At first they were tall hawthorns, but changed into berry bushes as our relationship built. Beneath the bushes are forget-me-nots, my favourite flowers. When I visit Archimedes he flies down from is perch, lands on my arms & nuzzles me affectionately, then I go along the berry bushes picking berries & feeding him.

Thaine, The Rune Raven

Thaine is a wise & proud black raven. Over his left eye in silver he has the eye of Thoth (it's the same as the Eye of Horus but of the left instead of the right). He wheres a talisman which has a Norse rune, and each time I visit the runes is different. Thaine lives in an ancient oak tree & when you climb up you'll find piles & piles of old books amongst the branches. Thaine remind of Merlin from The Sword in The Stone, he very wise & feel bothered by everyone, he likes his solitude. Thaine is a teacher, but won't make it easy for you, like loves using symbols & riddles, just like my Grandmother Cerridwen, but once you cracked the code, you are rewarded with invaluable wisdom. On one of my visit Thaine perched on the branched next to my head & touched my third eye with his beak, then I could feel the Eye of Thoth being drawn over my left eye.

The White Spider Goddess

White Spider Goddess is The Divine, The Goddess. At first she was a huge white spider that sat on a giant lotus flower, but over time she slowly revealed herself to me, she dresses in a white kimono & has long white hair which she wears part down & part up held in place with a traditional Japanese hair decoration, she reminds me of Kuan Yin. He lotus flower sit in the middle of a pond filled with lotuses & koi fish with a little bridge leading over the pond to her louts flower, the wall are covered in web dripping with dew which look like glistening gems, and when you look up at the ceiling you find yourself looking out into the heart of the Universe. It is very humbling to be in her presences & awe inspiring, she beams light & peace. She has a kind face & always look and smiles warmly at me, like a mother to her child. I once caressed a petal of her lotus, it was soft & warm and made me think of the womb.

So there you go, those are my Chakra Beasts, and Implore you do go & find what dwells with your chakras, you will find and discover much about yourself & it'll bring you great healing.

With Love, Light & Green Blessings


Raven Dreamer