Wednesday, 8 May 2013

Spiraling into the Centre: Returning to the Beginning

It's been a bit of a bumpy time for me recently, I had one of those experience where the mat pulled out from under your feet, and I've been trying to find my balance every since. Old issues & old pain began to surface, things that have not bothered me in years, so on the Full (Pink) Moon in Scorpio I decided to so a ritual to release, cleanse & heal these old wounds & past pain. The ritual went very well & I felt better for it. When Beltane came I focused on self-love & reaffirmed my intention to heal. Despite this, my mood & energy have been up and down, it got to the point where I could not bare to be around anyone, not even my family, everything felt so overwhelming & everything was too loud that it made me want to breakdown and cry. The next day when I felt alittle better I decided to do something about it, clearly something was not right. So began reading a couple of e-book I had on self-healing & creating better flow in your life, I took notes and did some of the exercises to call back & protect my energy. I've been doing a daily card reading from David Carson - Medicine Card, this has been helping gain insight in themes & energies to be aware of. Couple days ago I thought I go to another site to get alittle more insight, it is a online Tarot site called Students of Tarot, you can choose from a range of decks & spreads, I decided to a single card reading from two different decks The Greenwood & The Crone, I chose you use only the major arcane, I got the same card from both decks, The Wheel & then, because the Universe like to show me things in threes, a card from the Heart of the Faeries Oracle appear, a card I have ran into a couple of times, the card is called The Returning

Then something dawned on me, the way I had been feeling & thinking was the same way I was back at the beginning of my journey into my spiritualism, fearful of the future, self-critical, low self-esteem & negativity thinking plaguing my mind, and these three cards all hold the same message, go back to your roots, go back to the beginning. "Endings have new beginnings and we cycle on like a great wheel". That is what is written (by my lovely soul-sistar Dawn) about The Returning. When I took a step back and look at what I was doing, it was the same thing I had start way back when I started, changing my negativity & critical thinking, balancing my energies & chakras, affirmation, positive intentions, living in the present moment, it was all there, everything that I had work on when I began my spiritual journey. So The Returning got me thinking, what was it that sparked my passion for my spiritual path? The theme had been appearing in some of my exercises too; What is your passion? What is it that makes you happy? Nothing came to mind so I took a break & decided to look at some Youtube videos, 2 videos caught my attention, they were both about a wonderful herbalist called Cascade Anderson Geller who sadly passed last weekend.One of the videos was Cascade talking about dandelions, as I watched something in me was rekindled & I began feverishly taking notes on dandelion medicine. To began looking up more dandelion medicine videos and I began making plans for harvesting & preparing herbal remedies, I came across a wise old face, the wonderful Susun Weed, the woman whom made me full in love with herbal medicine, and then it hit me, my passion, the thing that had driven me forward was my love of herbs.
Susun Weed

Cascade Anderson Geller

And thus I had come full circle & the lesson of the Wheel was released, return to the beginning & remember why I began this journey.

Green Blessings /|\


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